Though I've already posted a lot about the boys, I think their story is best told by this beautiful article written by journalist Don Wade, who just happened to run into the boys and the dads at a baseball game. The boys appeared on the front page of the sports section of The Commercial Appeal when they were just six years old! And Dad's dream came true, because his picture was on there as well. :-) Some of you have probably already read this, but I never get tired of reading it. I just think it's so well-written, and it's so perfect that their story is told from a baseball perspective. Baseball has been something that the boys and their dads can share together . . . not to mention the fact that Jamal and Jamier are both awesome at it! This was written in July 2001.
Home-Field Advantage
Several weeks ago, I took my family to a Redbirds game at AutoZone Park.
We had seats down the leftfield line and we had the usual hopes for the day: maybe somebody would hit a home run, make a great catch or do something heroic.
But I honestly don’t remember what happened on the field that day. And for that I blame the two men and two boys sitting directly in front of us.
They had on ballcaps and team shirts. All the players on their Bartlett T-ball team had run onto the field to stand with the Redbirds for the National Anthem.
And now, right in front of us, were these two white men - obviously coaches - and two African-American boys - obviously players.
Nothing unusual about that, of course, but then one of the boys turned to one of the men and said, “Dad...”
Get ‘em home
As it turns out, right in front of us, close enough to touch, was a doubleheader of the most amazing kind.
The two 6-year-old boys, Jamal and Jamier, are twins.
The two men, Randy Lillard, 49, and Charles Bradley, 55, are their fathers in every sense but the legal one; each adoption is in the final stage of approval.
Jamal and Jamier’s birth father helped start their lives, but he hasn’t been heard from since. The birth mother has never been able to care for them, and her parental rights were terminated years ago.
So Jamal’s and Jamier’s names were written into the great lineup card of life and then, like so many children, they were left stranded on first base.
Rescue call
Randy and Tricia Lillard and Charles and Gail Bradley have been foster parents for years.
Foster parents are society’s pinch-hitters, going to bat when the starting players have tired, quit or simply couldn’t face the most basic parenting fact of all: You always have to play extra innings. This is a game without end.
When AGAPE Child & Family Services got involved with Jamal and Jamier, the plan was for the Lillards to take both boys on a short-term basis. This was back in October 1995.
But the Lillards, who have two older children of their own, believed they could only handle taking one of the boys. So they took Jamal.
The Bradleys, who also have two older children, agreed to take Jamier.
Eventually, both boys would reunite with their birth mother. That was the plan. But the birth mother never got herself together.
Meantime, Jamal and Jamier were thriving where they were.
“If the boys couldn’t live together," says AGAPE executive director David Jordan, “we wanted them to grow up together. That was strategic.”
And so they play baseball and soccer together and, when in each other’s homes, they do what all brothers do together:
They fuss, they fight, they laugh, they cry, they make mischief.
When I ask Jamal, who weighs 50 pounds to Jamier’s 100, if he likes it that his brother lives nearby, he answers with a gleaming shout: “Yes!” And then he jumps on Jamier in the middle of the Lillard’s family room floor.
“Get off me!” Jamier yells and giggles, and they roll around on the carpet, brothers in arms.
Love of the game
Inside this house, Jamal’s house, his little hand takes mine and pulls me toward the fireplace. Up on the mantle is what he wants me to see: his baseball and soccer trophies.
Inside his room there are more monuments to childhood: St. Louis Cardinal baseball caps, soccer balls, several thousand stuffed animals, a basketball, a Winnie the Pooh pillowcase and Arkansas Razorbacks basketball and football schedules.
“I’m trying to figure out when’s the first Razorbacks game I’m going to take Jamal to,” says Randy. “I’m trying to fix his mind on those Hogs.”
Inside Jamier’s house, he strategically places newspapers and pillows to form a baseball diamond.
“He’s crazy about baseball,” says Charles. “That’s all he wants to do.”
One day, Jamier hit or threw a baseball into the gas fireplace with the ceramic logs.
This wouldn’t do, so Gail gave him a little plastic ball with explicit instructions not to hit it inside the house. Jamier promptly came back with the ball and a hairbrush and said, “Mom, I can bunt it.”
The kid understands how the game works: If you’ve got a runner on first, you need to help him get to second.
Teammates
From the time Jamal and Jamier were a year old until they were three, the Lillards and Bradleys took them to area African-American churches to, as Randy says, “kind of show the boys off.”
Did they want to let the boys go? No.
Did they think it would be easier for Jamal and Jamier if they could play their natural positions of black sons in a black family? Yes.
And African-American families expressed interest in the boys. One couple decided they just weren’t ready for twins, and later adopted a little girl.
Another couple watched the boys with the Lillards and Bradleys and wondered if it was such a good idea to sever those ties, regardless of color. Says Randy: “Their take was, ‘they’re too attached to you guys to make a move.’”
AGAPE’s Jordan, noting that federal legislation prohibits race from being the determining factor in an adoption, says, “One of the realities is 85 to 90 percent of the children we care for are African-Americans or have some African-American heritage."
“We obviously want more white families with the hearts the Lillards and Bradleys have. But we need more African-American families.”
Statistics don’t mean much to Jamal and Jamier. They just understand that no two families look exactly alike.
Jamal calls himself a “brown person.”
Jamier calls Jamal’s mom and dad, the Lillards, “gray people.”
Jordan calls the Bradleys and the Lillards “a godsend.”
And both boys call these people who love them and take care of them “Mom and Dad.”
And I call what I saw in the row in front of me that day at the ballpark a home run, a great catch and the most heroic play of the game:
The sacrifice.
Happy Gotcha Day, Jamal & Jamier!
Now here are some of my favorite Jamal (and Jamier) pics. :-)
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