So I guess some of you might be interested to hear about Tekia's recent visit with her birth family. It all started a few weeks ago when my mom and I discovered that Tekia's birth mother, QT, was on facebook. During the first year and half of Tekia's life, QT was like a part of our family. She was trying to regain custody of her kids and we were trying to help her in any way we could. Obviously, that didn't happen, and we lost touch. While we've kept in touch with her family, we haven't seen or heard from QT in nine years.
Long story short, we reconnected through facebook, and last Friday, Mom, Tekia, and I met QT, her mom, two of her sisters, and her sons at a park for a little family reunion. Tekia has seen her grandmother, aunts, and older brother several times throughout the last six years or so, but she hasn't had any kind of relationship with her birth mother since she was a year old. I'm sure everyone was a little nervous, but it went really well. Tekia mostly played with her brother Antonio, who's 14 months older than she is. They've always gotten along great and he absolutely adores her. Their little brother Christian is 18 months old and looks nothing like them, with the exception of the really adorable dimples that everyone in their family shares (Tekia and Antonio, on the other hand, could pass for twins). And, just in case you're wondering, Antonio lives with his and Kia's paternal grandmother, and Christian lives with QT.
A lot of adoptive parents would cringe at the thought of their 10-year-old spending time with the birth mother who ultimately chose not to parent her, especially when that mother is living a life that's far from the one they envision for their child. My mom has always said that if a mother can love more than one child, why can't a child love more than one mother? And how can we expect that child to learn to love the broken and the lost if "the broken and the lost" include her own flesh and blood and we choose to ignore them? QT may not be a part of our family like she was nine years ago, but the fact remains that she will always be a part of our family. There's no denying that. We couldn't forget her even if we wanted to - Tekia reminds us of her every day in so many ways. We've never stopped thinking of QT or praying that she will allow God to make her what He wants her to be, and that prayer remains the same. I think my mom and I were more excited to see her than Kia was!
Anyway, enough of my rambling . . . here are some pics!
Antonio and Tekia. Are they cute or what?
Antonio's sidewalk art. It breaks my heart that these two don't live under the same roof.
Christian. Adorable.
"Come get me, Kia!"
Tekia with her first family
Mom, Landu/"Mama Bebe" (aka QT's mom), me, Christian, and QT . . . QT and I were distracted by the baby
These photos are both heartwarming and heartbreaking to me, for they are a reminder that, although adoption is a beautiful thing, it is not without its brokenness. My family as I know it only exists because the one in these pictures does not. Tekia is ours only because she cannot be theirs. QT has never watched her only daughter dance in a recital, score a goal in a soccer game, or sing in the Christmas musical. Antonio doesn't get to spend every day with the sister he craves to know. Tekia doesn't understand the phrases that her African grandmother has taught to her other grandchildren in her native tongue. Christian just thinks his sister is some stranger he met at the park. There's another child somewhere in Memphis who doesn't even know that these three kids are his siblings, too. Things are broken here. And yet, God found a way to make them beautiful. Because one day, not so long ago, there was a baby girl left sleeping on a couch in a social worker's office, and a few hours later she was home. That's broken turned beautiful, people. And I'm so grateful.
Still, I hope for a day when everyone who loves Tekia will live together in a perfect home where nothing is broken and we all belong to one family. That will be truly beautiful.
4 comments:
I just had to comment, but I don't have words. Callie, I'm speechless at your ability to articulate the beauty of God's grace. God is so able to turn the most dire of circumstances into a colorful display of his love and glory. Thank you so much for sharing this...and happy birthday!
mmmmmhhhhhmmm and Amen.
please just tell your mother thank you.
i am SO blessed to be able to share with some of my girls a relationship with their birth mothers. it is not easy for any of us, but i feel certain it is best. i too tell my girls who have living birth parents, "I love 14 daughters! of course you can love 2 Mommies!"
i know SO many adoptive parents who miss teaching their children these lessons of redemption because they cut off ties or prohibit relationships with birth families. it so encourages my heart that there are other mothers out there doing it it hard way, for the glory of God and the good of their children.
thank you!
Tears. You are beautiful, my friend. Oh, how terribly grateful I am that my sweet child had your family for the first weeks of her life and I now have the honor and privilege of watching God do His mighty work in YOU! You are loved.
Callie..your words are beautiful. I admire each one of you for so many things and I thank God for each one of you and the opportunity He has blessed you all with. God is able to do all things, and He has certainly done great things with your family.
Great pictures of the day...I do agree that Tekia and her brother could pass as twins...look just alike!
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