Historically, August has not been a great month for our family. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in August 2001. In August 2004, the breast cancer recurred in her liver. Then in August 2010, my dear Paw Paw died suddenly, and three weeks later, on the very last day of the month, my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I know God holds the eighth month in his hands just as tightly as he does the other eleven, but I would be lying if I said I didn't dread its arrival every year.
This year was a little bit different, though. This year I realized that August, mean as it can sometimes be, does have its perks. Because we can't take a picture like this in any other month of the year.
Yes, there is my mother. Surviving stage IV breast cancer and stage II pancreatic cancer. And not just surviving. Living. With a heart full of thanks and joy.
And I'm wondering . . . who would God be to me if there had been no Augusts?
C.S. Lewis wrote, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
My darkest August days have seen me on my knees, face down in my bathroom floor, crying wordless prayers, and God has met me there. And in those moments, I've known him in a way that I often forget about on my brighter days. I've learned how to trust him more, believe him more, rest in him more. I've learned that his presence is constant, even when it's not obvious. So I suppose I'm thankful for those Augusts and the father I've come to know there. He is really all I need.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
And let's hear it for August.
1 comment:
Callie you have such a way with words. Your blogs always touch me in a special way, sometimes with smiles and warm thoughts and sometimes with sadness and tears. I feel so blessed to know you, even though I would love to know you better. Thank you for touching my life in ways that you can't even imagine.
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