stuff I'd rather not talk about

Sigh. That's my initial response to writing a post about yesterday. Just a big. fat. sigh.

Today is the next day. You know, that day after something really bad happens when you wake up and the first thought that goes through your head is, "Did that really happen?".

It did happen, unfortunately. For reasons we don't understand or like very much, it seems God is allowing my mom to once again be faced with something that could kill her. Once again allowing our family to be completely heartbroken and thus driving us to cling to the only hope we know is true. We know that nothing happens in our lives without His okay. So, as much as i don't want to do this again, I will say okay, too. He is always faithful. And when He allows the enemy to come close, He is always closer.

Yesterday my mom's oncologist, Dr. Tauer, after so many appointments full of good news, had to give us bad news again. He fears there is pancreatic cancer growing in a lymph node in my mom's abdomen, near the site of her surgery. That lymph node has been enlarged since last July, but it didn't light up on a PET scan until now. Even though the enlarged lymph nodes in Mom's chest also lit up, Dr. T isn't as concerned about those because they also lit up on her last PET. He thinks the nodes in her chest are probably breast cancer that is being controlled by Herceptin (maintenance treatment she gets every 3 weeks).    

So tomorrow morning at 10:30 my mom will go to her cancer clinic to prepare for a biopsy of that one lymph node in her abdomen. I told Trish that she's usually not very good at biopsies, but she promised to try to do better this time. :-) The biopsy is scheduled to happen at noon and will be taken via a long needle in Mom's back (guided by CT scan), and she will have to stay at the clinic anywhere from one to four hours afterward. After that, she should feel relatively normal and be able to resume her normal activities.

Her normal activities, by the way, are just that. Normal. Trish looks and feels absolutely 100% great, which is something that makes yesterday's news even harder to believe. She's already been making lots of normal plans for the spring and summer, and those plans did not involve chemo (have I mentioned we don't have time for cancer right now?).

Speaking of chemo, it was one of the options Dr. Tauer discussed with us yesterday. If this biopsy shows cancer, more chemo is likely in Trish's future. Dr. T also mentioned the unlikely possibility of more surgery and the possibility of using something called radiofrequency ablation to remove the cancer. We didn't discuss any of these options in depth because we're not sure yet what we're up against. Dr. T said all he can say right now is "Let's see."

For those who like a list of prayer requests, here ya go . . .

• first and foremost, that God would reveal His glory in and through this storm . . . that we would praise Him no matter what.
• that Mom's biopsy tomorrow will go smoothly and that it would come back completely benign!
• normal tumor markers for breast and pancreatic cancer (those weren't done until yesterday, so we'll find out about those on Monday, too)
• peace for our family, specifically for my younger siblings, Jamal and Tekia . . . that God would draw near to them and protect them from evil.
• wisdom for Dr. Tauer and any other doctor who may end up involved in this crazy ride.

So again we wait. And pray. And trust. The fact that you would take the time to join us is appreciated more than we can say. Thank you.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." -Isaiah 43:2