too far

Dear Green People,

I came across this article the other day - "Green Baby Names: 100% Natural Names for Your Baby". Among those listed are Aqua, Beach, Field, Rain, and Spruce. Green People, I really think you've taken this green thing a little too far. I mean, I'm not anti-green or anything (nor am I only-organic-eating-and-hybrid-driving), but . . . seriously?? Are you guys joking?

Green People, relax! You have enough things to worry about. I promise the earth won't grow any warmer if you name your kids Aiden and Emily. Really. And your kids (probably) won't even get teased at school!

So you guys just keep up the good work with your cloth-diapering and homemade-baby-food-making, but don't sweat the small stuff (by the way, I would draw the "small stuff" line at using disposable diapers and Gerber baby food, but we're not talking about that now. We're talking about the "too far" line, so . . . whatev). Just leave the names of plants and bodies of water to, well, plants and bodies of water.

However, if you do insist on being all-green all the time, even in your baby-naming, I won't judge. And if I meet you in my workplace, I promise to take super care of little Branch Cedar Lake or Meadow Cloud Sequoia. I'll even decorate their crib card with stickers (made from recycled paper, of course) of leaves and flowers. Just for you.

love,
Callie