Happy Passover

I thought I posted this yesterday. But I was attempting it from my phone while in the car rider line. Happy Passover anyway.

Me to kids (while running apple after apple through the food processor...in the process of making charoset...which I do every year): "Do y'all know what today is?"

Jamal: (looks at his phone) "April 14th. My Gotcha Day?"

me: "No."

Jamal: "My Adoption Day!"

me: "No, Jamal, those are both in October. It's a religious day."

(blank stares)

me: "Easter's on Sunday..."

Kia: "Today's Monday...oh! Better Monday!"


Kia missed most of school today. Let's hope she got there in time for Bible.

Happy Passover, everyone.

snorkeling {a family update}

How are we doing? We're snorkeling, but not the fun kind. I'll explain later. Here's an update on the family . . .

Tekia is in 8th grade and doing well in school. She decided to take a year off from cheerleading and is just doing tumbling classes right now. Jamal's school situation has been more complicated. He was homeschooled last year and the plan all along was for him to return to regular high school for his senior year. His school knew this and agreed it was a good plan. However, no one ever told us that once a child turns 18, our school system will not admit them. Jamal turned 18 in June, so when my dad went to register him for school, the school said no. After two months of fighting this and talking to administrators and trying to find a school that would admit him, we finally came to the hard realization that it would be best at this point for Jamal to begin working on getting his GED. So that's what he's doing now. He began GED prep classes two weeks ago.

Both kids are struggling in other ways. Out of respect for their privacy, I won't go into details. But please, please keep them in your prayers. How are their teenage hearts supposed to handle losing two moms during their childhood? How can they trust a God who would let that happen?

Dad and I are both working full-time. And both feeling like we need to be at home all the time. We're currently participating in a wonderful class called Empowered to Connect. I can't recommend it enough to other adoptive and foster families! Visit the website and check out the ETC initiative. Mom and I have been to three ETC conferences in the last two years, and she and Dad had been planning on attending this class for months. I'm happy to fill in for her. We covet your prayers as we continue the crazy journey that is being part of our family.

In the days right after Mom died, I remember my older brother Jared saying, "I wish we could just fast forward a few months . . . like to September." I agreed. As if things were going to be less hard in a few months.

Wrong.

Here it is October, and many days I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. There are moments that are good - even great. I have days where I find myself driving down the road with my hands lifted in praise (okay, just one hand . . . I am driving, after all) as I sing my heart out to the One who is somehow able to fill my heart with joy during times like this. And then there are days when I have to pull over in a parking lot because the grief becomes so intense that I can't even catch my breath. And sometimes those are the same day.

But God is faithful, and as I struggle to keep my head above the water . . . to keep breathing . . . He hands me a snorkel. I get a text from a friend telling me they're praying for me . . .  or I get a facebook message about how Mom touched someone's life . . . or Tekia says something that makes me laugh my head off . . . or someone randomly invites us over for dinner . . . or my daily devotional says exactly what I need to hear. I'm still swimming in the deep, but I can take a breath. Relax a little. For a few minutes or hours or days, I can breathe easy. The hurt is still there, but the hope is revived.

And even though snorkeling is more fun in the Bahamas, these days I'll take what I can get.

Jesus wins.

The Gentle Healer came into our town today, and He took home with Him one of his favorites, healed and whole. Mom's amazing journey on this earth is over, and a most amazing one has begun.

We are still trying to process all that has happened in the past 36 hours. Mom had a great few days since returning from Louisville . . . spending time with friends, buying new plants for our garden, planning parties for foster children, etc. She noticed some GI bleeding late Thursday night and began running fever yesterday morning. After a trip to West Clinic, it was decided she would be admitted to the hospital just to be safe. She was admitted around 4pm, feeling pretty well. She was eating dinner with her friend Cindi a little after 7pm when she began to feel nauseous. What happened next is a whirlwind; she began vomiting blood and was rushed to the ICU, where they were never able to completely stabilize her. Something was causing massive arterial bleeding in her stomach. She left this earth around 3:30 this morning. She was surrounded by her friends and family and was not in any pain. We sang her out with two of her favorite songs, When We All Get to Heaven and There's a Stirring. It was holy ground.

We are heartbroken and not sure of much right now, but we hold tight to what we know is true: Jesus lives. He lives and He wins! His precious daughter Tricia is safe in His arms tonight, singing, laughing, and worshiping with her sweet daddy and other friends she hasn't seen in years. We will see her again.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard,

and no mind has imagined

what God has prepared

for those love him."

1 Corinthians 2:9

Good Thursday

Mom and I had a very long day today and are both completely exhausted, so this will be brief . . .

Mom's scan today was unchanged! There was no shrinkage of the tumor, but there was also no growth and no metastasis! Dr. Tauer was very pleased and feels like the chemo is working. He's going to try to get in touch with Dr. Martin in Louisville tomorrow to talk about the possibility of surgery. We hope Dr. Martin is still on board and that we can schedule nanoknife surgery soon! Since tomorrow's Friday, I doubt we'll know anything about surgery until next week. Pray for Dr. Tauer and Dr. Martin to connect soon and for us to get (another) "yes" about surgery!

Mom's body is still trying to bounce back from these first two chemo treatments. Her red count has been getting lower and lower, so today she got a shot to help build it back up. Her potassium is also extremely low and, as usual, she's a little dehydrated; so she also got a bag of IV fluids with potassium. She'll get fluids at home the next two days to get her juiced up for our busy weekend ahead.

Despite her not-so-great lab work, she's feeling really well! Most of the time her appetite is pretty good - she's actually gained a pound since her last visit to West Clinic! Her stomach still doesn't tolerate food all the time, though (thus the dehydration and low potassium). She's experimenting with cutting out dairy, taking more digestive enzymes, etc. Her energy level is not completely back to normal yet but is much better than it was. We were at the clinic from 10:30am to 4:30pm and then ran some errands and didn't get home til almost 9pm! She did great - probably better than I did. I'm beginning to think I need a bag of fluids every time we go to the clinic. ;)

This weekend my brother Jared and his family are coming into town for the first time since Mom started chemo. Mom is so excited about spending the weekend with her grandkids and actually feeling well enough to have fun with them! On Saturday, we're helping with an Easter egg hunt for foster children and their families (pray for no rain!). And on Sunday, we'll go to church and then to some friends' house for lunch. Pray Mom will continue to feel well and have enough to energy to enjoy all the activities she has planned.

Okay, so that wasn't that brief after all. We are tired and weary but feeling so, so grateful to have received good news today. Please join us in praising God for all He has done and all He's going to do! He never ceases to amaze me.

the Saturday evening post

Aka your weekly Trish report. ;)

For those of you who haven't read it on facebook or twitter, Mom's blood work all looked great yesterday, so she was able (or maybe forced) to get her second round of chemo. Actually, she's still getting it, as one of the drugs infuses over 46 hours. They decreased the dosages of two of her chemo meds and added two new anti-nausea meds, all in an effort to manage this chemo's horrible side effects. She's wearing an anti-nausea patch (Sancuso patch) that administers medication continuously for 7 days. And she's taking phenergan and zofran around the clock, even setting her alarm to wake up and take meds every 3 hours at night. Hopefully these changes will make a difference!

We had a little bit of a scare during Mom's infusion yesterday when she started to have slurred speech and muscle twitching. Her nurse had never seen it before and called the nurse practitioner, who checked Mom out and made sure she wasn't having a stroke. She wasn't. It's just a rare reaction from one of the medicines (irinotecan-induced dysarthria) and it goes away a few hours after the infusion's finished. It actually happened last time, too, but it was right after she'd had a drink of iced tea. We attributed it to her extreme sensitivity to cold things (also a side effect of chemo). I googled it anyway, though, and had seen that irinotecan can cause slurred speech . . . which is the only reason I didn't freak out when it happened yesterday. It resolved after a few hours.

How's she doing tonight? Well, she feels kind of "chemo-ish" . . . just kind of feeling bad in general. Very fatigued, not hungry, not thirsty. She had one short episode of nausea this afternoon, but none before or since and she has not thrown up! Things started to get bad on day 3 after chemo last time, so tomorrow will be the real test - pray for a good day! Regardless of how tomorrow goes, we've got home health coming with IV fluids for at least a couple days. Even if she doesn't throw up at all this round, she could still use the extra fluids since she's not drinking much. 

On Monday, Mom will get a shot to boost her white blood cell production to help prevent the dramatic drop that occurred after round 1. Because this sends the bone marrow into overdrive, it can cause bad bone pain. Pray Trish will be spared of that.

In other news, Tekia is in Orlando with her cheerleading squad and was shocked tonight when her dad showed up for their parent meeting! After her trip got off to a rough start, Dad looked into flying down there for the weekend and realized he and Mom together had enough frequent flyer miles to get a round-trip ticket. Actually accessing those miles was a major ordeal, but we finally got it worked out and Dad was able to surprise Tekia tonight. :) God provided everything from plane tickets to a place to stay. Dad will be there to see her compete tomorrow and will stay to fly back with her on Tuesday. Tekia's team competed once this afternoon and Mom and I were able to watch it live online. They did great and are currently in 1st place for their division!

Tonight's prayer requests . . .

• Send up some prayers of thanksgiving for answered prayers from last week! Dr. Tauer is doing well after surgery . . . Kia's Orlando trip has taken a turn for the better and we all feel better now that her dad is there . . . Mom was able to have chemo yesterday. :)
• Pray for safety for Tekia and her teammates as they compete and safe travels for them and all their parents as they head home on Tuesday.
• Pray for round 2 of chemo to be hard on cancer cells and much easier on the rest of Mom's body! Pray Mom will have less stomach trouble and more strength and energy.
• Mom will have another scan on the 28th. Pray for no growth and no metastasis (i.e., spreading to other organs) of her cancer! If this goes well, we can schedule surgery in Louisville!

We've definitely had our moments of discouragement this week, but God has been just as faithful as ever, and we are so grateful. Thanks for covering us in prayer and love. 

lucky tomorrows

Tonight I'll be sharing a life lesson from my baby sister. 

Due to a months-old toe fracture that won't heal, Tekia is currently wearing a boot and walking with crutches. The other night she and I were returning home from a trip to Walgreens, and she dropped some of her change while getting out of the car. I told her, "Kia, you dropped a penny."
 

She (realizing that bending down to get it would require some extra effort) shrugged and said "That's okay. I'll just leave it. Then I can find it tomorrow! And you know what they say about finding pennies, don't you?"
 

What if we lived every day with that attitude? Planning for and expecting good things to happen to us the next day?

Expect lucky tomorrows.

p.s. "I just burped and it came out my eye." (other wisdom shared by Tekia this week) (or something) 

Chip & Gayle {a squirrel story}

I have a story for you. A squirrel one. You may remember when we got Rocky the squirrel about three years ago. If not, click here. It seems that, in raising Rocky, we inadvertently became the people you call when you have an orphaned baby squirrel. We currently have a full-grown squirrel named Bullwinkle, who was found by a lawn service guy a few months ago and given to Jamal. Bullwinkle has yet to be released because Trish adores him. We also acquired another newborn squirrel around the time we got Bullwinkle, but after getting her hydrated and eating, we turned her over to be raised by some neighbors.

Avery and Bullwinkle during Camp Granna last month

So two weeks ago tonight, a tree was stuck by lightning in our friends' backyard. In the tree was a squirrel eating a nut. Sadly, the squirrel did not make it.

Fried nut. Fried squirrel.

Three days later, two dead baby squirrels were discovered in our friends' backyard, courtesy of a missing mama squirrel and the family dog. The next day, our friend Brian rescued another baby squirrel from the family dog and found yet another one making her way down a nearby tree (screaming all the way).

And then he did the only thing he knew to do. He called squirrel people.

That would be us, apparently. 

And so, meet Chip and Gayle.

Chip is a boy and Gayle is a girl, of course. We think they're about 6-7 weeks old (5 weeks when we got them). They're very tiny and adorable and love to snuggle up together under a towel or blanket. Having been without their mom for four days, they were both very sick and dehydrated when they came to us. Poor Chip's hind legs and tail appeared to be paralyzed for the first few days, probably a result of his encounter with the dog. But after a steroid shot from the vet and some TLC, Pedialyte, puppy formula, and "squirrel PT" from us, both Chip and Gayle are doing great now and Chip is using his hind legs and tail!
  

Chip

Gayle

Trish says she's going to release Bullwinkle sometime soon - not because she wants to but because the babies need his cage. He's been practicing in some trees. I'll keep you posted. ;-)

a month of lovely crazy normal

Okay, I'm not a student. I don't have kids. I'm not in a youth group.

So why am I so busy in the summertime? I don't get it. Nonetheless, it seems to happen every year. The last month has been one week after another of lovely craziness.

First, I went on a cruise with my family. Lovely.

We came home and had about two weeks to throw together a college send-off party for 20 amazing teens in foster care who are starting college this fall. Several Memphis churches came together to show these kids some love and it turned out better than I could've ever dreamed! It was quite possibly the best party I've ever attended (and I'm not just saying that because Trish and I were in charge). Also lovely.

As soon as the best party ever was over, we plunged right into a week of Camp Granna with my awesome niece and nephews! Crazy.

In the midst of all the lovely crazy, I've been working (of course I had one of the busiest work weeks ever the week I got back from vacation) and gardening and editing photographs and not blogging or posting cruise pictures (sorry).

And lest you think I'm complaining about all this busy-ness, think again. Because you know what else I haven't been doing? I haven't been making weekly chemo trips to West Clinic with Trish or going with her to get bad news from her doctor or spending the night on a hospital couch or having to be the mom of the house while the real mom is out of commission.

The last month has been nonstop for me . . . filled with lots of lovely, crazy stuff. Normal stuff. Non-cancer stuff. And while a few more hours of sleep would be nice, I'm not complaining one bit. :-)

cruising

Remember that time I went on an awesome cruise?

Yeah, me neither. But this time next week I will!

For the next week, the Memphis half of my family will be sailing around the Caribbean on the Disney Fantasy! (Sidenote: all five of us will be staying in one stateroom. Pray we don't kill each other.)

Those fireworks are for us. They got really excited when they heard we were coming.

what I've been up to lately

Gardening,

 

gardening,

 

gardening,

gardening,

 and more gardening.

 The garden that was once Paw Paw's . . . and then mine and Mom's and Paw Paw's . . . has now become mine and Mom's and our friend Cindi's. And we are spending a lot of time there . . . growing such wonderful things as okra, tomatoes (regular, cherry, and roma), yellow squash, zucchini, cucumbers (so many cucumbers!), peppers, eggplant, watermelon, cantaloupe, sunflowers, zinnias, and some accidental peas. Actually, we have no idea if eggplants are wonderful or not . . . we don't know what we're going to do with them, but we're growing them anyway . . . just because we can.
  

Oh yes, and we've also been doing some eating lately. 

Lots and lots of eating.

Have I mentioned I love summertime?

To all the moms I've loved before

Happy Mother's Day to my fabulous mother! I love you, Trish!

The above picture is from a little Mother's Day trip we took to California last week. So thankful for more memories made

And I also want to wish a Happy Mother's Day to all the other special ladies who've played mom roles in my life at one time or another. You know who you are (and if you don't, check the pictures in the post below). I love each of you dearly and am so thankful you've been part of my "village."

And now I shall recycle my favorite Mother's Day post from my early blogging days. Enjoy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sharing

Mom told me yesterday that I had until tonight to get a new blog post up...perhaps she was fishing for a Mother's Day post? That's okay, I suppose, because I can't think of a mother who deserves one more than she does. A blog post seems like a pretty trivial way to pay tribute, but, until I have my own talk show, this will have to do.

I've collected some pictures of some of my favorite moms (click on any of the pics to see bigger). My most favorite is mine, of course, so most of the pictures are of her. Looking at these pictures, I realize that in several of them, my mother is caring for a child to whom she didn't have to be "Mom." I learned from my family that when you've got something good in your life, you should share it. My mom taught me this by sharing her "mom-ness" with many children and young mothers who needed to know what a real mom was supposed to be like. Every child whom my mother has fed, bathed, clothed, and loved has known the blessing of having a real mom. I'm so thankful to have had the opportunity to share her with them, and I know they are eternally grateful to her for the special part she played in each of their lives. I'm tempted to say that Jared, Jamal, Kia, and I are the really lucky ones who get to have Mom all the time; however, Hunter and Avery get her for a grandmother! I think Granna may be her favorite role yet.

I probably didn't realize how blessed I was until that terrible summer day in 2004 - when words like "terminal" and "incurable" became part of our vocabulary. I'm so grateful to have gotten to spend another Mother's Day with Mom, and I pray that we will get to celebrate many more together.

I know Mom would not be the Mom/Granna we know and love without the special moms in her life, so I would like to thank each of them as well. I hope and pray that, when I am a mom someday, I will remember all the "mom" things I've learned from each of you.

Happy Mother's Day to all my favorite moms!

PS - Maybe Mom thought that the more children she mothered, the more gifts she would get for Mother's Day. If any of you are thinking of trying this plan, don't do it - she still only got gifts from us.