lend me your hearts

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears eyes. And, while you're at it, lend me your hearts, too. And maybe occasionally your voices lifted up in prayer to the Great Physician, through whom ALL things are possible.

We did not get the news we were praying for today. My mom has pancreatic cancer. This is not a relapse of her breast cancer; in fact, this has nothing at all to do with her previous experiences with breast cancer. She is just one of the lucky 5% of cancer patients who get more than one type of cancer in their lifetime. Her biopsy showed that she has adenocarcinoma of the pancreas. If you know anything about pancreatic cancer, you probably know the prognosis for this is not good. It's pretty terrible actually. However, her oncologist, Dr. Tauer, was able to give us some hope today . . . oh, I how love hope!

First of all, it appears we have caught this very early. Four weeks ago, her CT scan and labs were normal and last week they were abnormal. Thank goodness for Mom's frequent check-ups due to cancer #1. Second, this tumor is currently very small and doesn't appear to have spread anywhere else. The reason most pancreatic cancer cases are fatal is because most people don't realize they have it until it has already spread to other organs; at that point, it is too late for surgery. Only 20 - 30% of people with pancreatic cancer are eligible for surgery, and surgery is the only hope for a cure. Because of the apparent small size and early stage of my mom's tumor, Dr. Tauer feels like she will be a candidate for surgery. He is hopeful that the surgeon will be able to remove the cancer completely.

Because it was after office hours today when we learned all of this, Dr. Tauer was unable to schedule a consult with the surgeon. He will call first thing tomorrow morning and hopefully we'll have an appointment set up by the end of the day. The surgeon we plan on seeing is Dr. Behrman. The surgery we hope she can have done is called a Whipple procedure. It is a big surgery. Fortunately for us, we serve a big God.

Meanwhile, tomorrow at noon, my mom will have an ERCP, an outpatient procedure which involves putting a scope down the throat all the way to the small intestine. This will be done by our good friend Randy, who goes to church with us and happens to be an excellent gastroenterologist. During the procedure, Randy will try to open up the bile duct by placing a stent in it. If he's successful, this should relieve Mom of the symptoms she's been having lately (jaundice, itching, etc.), at least until she can have surgery.

Specific prayer requests right now:

• Mom's ERCP tomorrow . . . that it will go well and be successful in opening up her bile duct and that she will have no complications.
  
• Surgery . . . a) that Mom will be able to see the surgeon for a consult ASAP, b) that she will indeed be a candidate for surgery, and c) that the surgery would be successful in removing every bit of cancer from her body.
• Pancreatic cancer . . . that her tumor will remain small and not spread to any other organs or lymph nodes before it can be removed.
• Breast cancer . . . During all of this cancer #2 mess, Mom will not be able to receive her Herceptin, which is the maintenance treatment she has gotten monthly for the past six years to prevent cancer #1 from returning. She is doing great on this front, but pray that her breast cancer will remain in remission during this time!
• Her doctors . . . Dr. Tauer, Dr. Frederick, and Dr. Behrman and their respective teams . . . that God will give them wisdom and work through them to bring healing.
  
• Our family, specifically Jamal and Tekia, who are 15 and 10 years old . . . pray that God will give us His perfect peace and that we will put our trust in Him and continue to praise and bless His name, no matter what.
  
• Total and complete HEALING for my mom! Our God is a God who saves!
• Last but not least, don't forget to thank God for all that He has already done for us and for the blessings that I know are on the way. :-)

Before Dr. Tauer left the room today, he told my mom today that he doesn't think we're through learning from her just yet. He said, "Six years ago when I told you it was in your liver, that was about as bad as it could get, and look how much we've learned from you since then! I think we've still got a lot to learn from you." I would have to agree.

So, the bad news is my mom has pancreatic cancer. And, while it breaks my heart and scares me to death to type those words, I know there is good news, too. The good news is that the God we cry out to tonight is walking this road with us. He has not left our side, not even for a minute. He is the same God I've always known. He is the same as He was yesterday when we were waiting on this news and the same as He was a few weeks ago when all was right with our world. He is a good God, a loving God, a perfect God. And in all of this cancer nonsense, let us not forget what most of us learned as small children, "my God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty - there's NOTHING my God cannot do!"

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine . . ." Ephesians 3:20

let me bring you up to speed . . .

Well, as most of you have probably already learned via Facebook, the past few weeks have not been easy ones for my family. Thus, my blog has been neglected. If only neglecting my blog could be my biggest concern right now.

My dear Paw Paw died unexpectedly on August 6, 2010. Though his physical condition had been getting progressively worse due to presumed ALS, it was not the ALS that took his life. He died suddenly while sitting his recliner four weeks ago. We aren't sure what happened, but it was fast and pain-free. It was exactly what he'd been praying for. For that, we are more than thankful. Of course we weren't prepared for this and we miss him terribly, but we are so thankful that he's no longer suffering. So glad that he's with his Father and able to walk, run, and do whatever he pleases with his right hand! It's taken me a while to get to the point where I can even post about this. I had planned on doing a nice, big tribute post(s) for him, and I hope to still, but tonight I have something else I need to share.

After Paw Paw's funeral, my niece and nephews stayed for a shortened version of Camp Granna (which had been planned for weeks). The kids did a great job of keeping us busy and laughing during a week that would probably have otherwise been very sad and somber. The week following Camp Granna, my mom was extremely tired and didn't have much of an appetite; we attributed both of these symptoms to sadness. She was also quite itchy but we didn't really think much of it. On Tuesday of that week, she had her usual monthly Herceptin treatment at her cancer clinic and they did the usual lab work (side note for anyone who may not know: my mom was initially diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001, and in 2004 it came back and spread to her liver. She's-miraculously!-been in remission since 2005, but still receives an IV drug called Herceptin once a month). On Thursday, the clinic called to tell her that her liver enzymes were markedly elevated and her oncologist wanted her to have a PET scan ASAP. After that, her symptoms started to make sense to us (did you know elevated bilirubin makes you itch?), and we also started to notice that she was jaundiced. She'd had a CT scan and tumor markers checked three weeks prior to this, and everything was normal. So while this liver thing did alarm us, we were hopeful she'd just gotten hepatitis or some other kind of infection, possibly from something she'd eaten in Spain. Anyway, the soonest they could do her PET scan was the following Tuesday (last Tuesday). On Wednesday, her doctor delivered news that we did not want to hear and news that he didn't want to give. The PET scan showed a small (very small) mass that's obstructing her bile duct, and this is causing her symptoms. On a PET scan, cancer shows up as a "hot spot." Since her tumor only showed up as "slightly hot", we are unsure if it is cancer or not. Other things such as inflammation and infection can show up as hot, too. Therefore, last Friday my mom had a needle biopsy of the tumor and surrounding areas (including the pancreas).

On Tuesday afternoon, she goes back to the doctor to find out the results of this biopsy. We are praying, praying, praying for benign results. Please join us! Her doctor did say that, if this is cancer, he doesn't think it is breast cancer; he thinks it might be new cancer. That would probably not be a good thing. (Let it be known that I hate cancer.)

Friends, please pray with us! Pray that this tumor will not be cancer. Pray that it can removed easily. Pray for healing for my mom and wisdom for her doctors.

The lyrics of a song by Mikeschair keep ringing in my head: You were faithful before, You'll be faithful again. While we'd rather not go a third round with cancer, God has delivered my mom from this illness before, and He can do it again. With a snap of his fingers. Likewise, He can make her biopsy results come back benign. With a snap of His fingers. All our hope is in Him.

Spain, Day 1 - Are we there yet?

Tekia actually asked that question on the way to Amsterdam (or "Hamsterdam", as she calls it). The kids did really well on our very long day(s) of traveling. Another Edward Jones family from Memphis was traveling with us, so Jamal had friends to hang out with. And Tekia had more than enough pink to get her through the night . . . pink bags, pink outfit, pink blanket, pink pillow ("the pink dreamer"). And maybe the Benadryl helped, too (ironically, also pink).

Strangely enough, these two wanted to sit together.


And we grown-ups got to sit together.


But soon the kids were doing this, so Tekia and Dad ended up trading places. We took a total of four flights this week, and I didn't have to sit by a kid once - not once! Please don't tell anyone.


We left Memphis on Sunday evening and got to Barcelona on Monday afternoon (with one stop in Amsterdam). Funny how that works. Here's our hotel and the weird, artsy fish thing that sits by the pool. Our hotel and the building next to it were Barcelona's first two skyscrapers, built for visitors coming to the 1992 Olympics.


view of the beach from our rooms (the girls shared a room and the guys shared a room)

view of the city from our rooms
Once we finally reached the hotel, we only had about an hour and a half before our welcome dinner. I think this was the only picture I took at dinner. Behold our entertainment.
First order of business after dinner: try out the cool, futuristic-looking hammocks.
hotel scenery
We provided the hotel with even prettier scenery. You're welcome, Hotel Arts Barcelona.
the pool (that I never got in) and the weird fish thing

View of Port Olimpic from our hotel. This entire area was built just for the 1992 Olympics.
Pater et Mater (I don't know Spanish or Catalan, but I figure Latin's semi-close, right?)
After dinner, Mom, Dad, Kia, and I went on a walk around Port Olimpic. Jamal stayed at the hotel with friends, which turned out to be a common occurrence that week.


Some restaurants at Port Olimpic. It was around 9pm and everyone was out to dinner. This was when it really hit me that I was back in Europe. What a wonderful feeling. :-) Though it did make me miss my HUF friends. And my backpack.

The beach in Barcelona at 9 o'clock at night! Love it.
Our hotel, its neighbor, and lots of boats.

More to come! Sometime.