oh by the way,

My dad's having surgery tomorrow. Not a major one, by any means, but we'd still appreciate some prayers (plus, Mom's surgery got like a hundred blog posts, so I don't want Dad to feel left out). He's having a sinus surgery that's usually outpatient; however, since he has sleep apnea, he'll have to spend one night in the hospital. Pray for successful surgery and smooth recovery.

My parents have to be at the hospital bright and early, and I'll be responsible for getting the kids off to school. So you might want to also pray that I don't kill Tekia in between the time she wakes up and the time she gets on the bus . . . that's easier said than done some mornings. I did make her choose her oufit tonight, though, so that's one less argument we'll have to have. :-)

get your prayer on

Just a quick reminder. It's Monday, peeps. You know what that means.

I know, I know . . . Trish looks awesome. She gets that a lot.

As much as we'd like to pretend like it's not happening, Mom's next scan is three weeks from today. Praying for another all clear!

a post in which I ramble about birth families, brokenness, and beautiful

So I guess some of you might be interested to hear about Tekia's recent visit with her birth family. It all started a few weeks ago when my mom and I discovered that Tekia's birth mother, QT, was on facebook. During the first year and half of Tekia's life, QT was like a part of our family. She was trying to regain custody of her kids and we were trying to help her in any way we could. Obviously, that didn't happen, and we lost touch. While we've kept in touch with her family, we haven't seen or heard from QT in nine years. 

Long story short, we reconnected through facebook, and last Friday, Mom, Tekia, and I met QT, her mom, two of her sisters, and her sons at a park for a little family reunion. Tekia has seen her grandmother, aunts, and older brother several times throughout the last six years or so, but she hasn't had any kind of relationship with her birth mother since she was a year old. I'm sure everyone was a little nervous, but it went really well. Tekia mostly played with her brother Antonio, who's 14 months older than she is. They've always gotten along great and he absolutely adores her. Their little brother Christian is 18 months old and looks nothing like them, with the exception of the really adorable dimples that everyone in their family shares (Tekia and Antonio, on the other hand, could pass for twins). And, just in case you're wondering, Antonio lives with his and Kia's paternal grandmother, and Christian lives with QT.

A lot of adoptive parents would cringe at the thought of their 10-year-old spending time with the birth mother who ultimately chose not to parent her, especially when that mother is living a life that's far from the one they envision for their child. My mom has always said that if a mother can love more than one child, why can't a child love more than one mother? And how can we expect that child to learn to love the broken and the lost if "the broken and the lost" include her own flesh and blood and we choose to ignore them? QT may not be a part of our family like she was nine years ago, but the fact remains that she will always be a part of our family. There's no denying that. We couldn't forget her even if we wanted to - Tekia reminds us of her every day in so many ways. We've never stopped thinking of QT or praying that she will allow God to make her what He wants her to be, and that prayer remains the same. I think my mom and I were more excited to see her than Kia was!

Anyway, enough of my rambling . . . here are some pics!

Antonio and Tekia. Are they cute or what?

 Antonio's sidewalk art. It breaks my heart that these two don't live under the same roof.

 

Christian. Adorable.

"Come get me, Kia!"

Tekia with her first family

Mom, Landu/"Mama Bebe" (aka QT's mom), me, Christian, and QT . . . QT and I were distracted by the baby

These photos are both heartwarming and heartbreaking to me, for they are a reminder that, although adoption is a beautiful thing, it is not without its brokenness. My family as I know it only exists because the one in these pictures does not. Tekia is ours only because she cannot be theirs. QT has never watched her only daughter dance in a recital, score a goal in a soccer game, or sing in the Christmas musical. Antonio doesn't get to spend every day with the sister he craves to know. Tekia doesn't understand the phrases that her African grandmother has taught to her other grandchildren in her native tongue. Christian just thinks his sister is some stranger he met at the park. There's another child somewhere in Memphis who doesn't even know that these three kids are his siblings, too. Things are broken here. And yet, God found a way to make them beautiful. Because one day, not so long ago, there was a baby girl left sleeping on a couch in a social worker's office, and a few hours later she was home. That's broken turned beautiful, people. And I'm so grateful.

Still, I hope for a day when everyone who loves Tekia will live together in a perfect home where nothing is broken and we all belong to one family. That will be truly beautiful.

Today . . .

Tekia met her baby brother. 

Didn't know she had a baby brother? Um, same here.

More to come on her little family reunion later. 

time for a treatment!

You know how, once you've been through something awful, when you hear of other people going through the same thing, it's almost like you go through it all over again? Like you literally ache for those people because you know the hurt they're feeling? Am I the only who's experienced this? For years I've hurt for other foster families when they've had to say goodbye to a child. In recent months I've learned the hurt of losing a grandparent, and I hurt for my friends who are experiencing the same thing. I hurt for families affected by ALS. And of course I hurt for other families who've been touched by this ugly disease called cancer (touched is too nice of word here - more like slapped). And I'm hurting today. I hate cancer. I hate that it turns people's lives completely upside down in a matter of hours. I hate that it splits families between hospitals and homes. I hate that every scan brings with it the possibility of the worst day of your life. I hate that cancer (or at least the fear of it) stays in your life forever. I hate it all.

It seems like I've heard of a lot of new cancer diagnoses lately.  I hate that, too. Today I hurt for Lucy, for Kathy, for Phin, and for Charlie. I hurt for their families. I don't have permission to post about any of these people, so I won't share last names. Lucy is the daughter of some friends of friends. She was just diagnosed with medulloblastoma. Today is her 5th birthday. Kathy is a friend of our from church. She was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Her little ones are 7 and 1, about the same ages that Jamal and Tekia were when our mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer. Phin is another friend of a friend. He was recently diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. He's 8 months old. And Charlie I don't really know at all. His wife Pat was very kind to me when I posted on a pancreatic cancer message board a few months ago. She gave me so much hope when she shared their story with me. Charlie's pancreatic cancer diagnosis was very similar to my mom's, as was his report from surgery. He's remained cancer-free since his Whipple . . . seven years ago! In the last few weeks, his tumor marker for PC has been increasing, which could be indicative of new cancer growth somewhere in his body. He has a scan today. As Pat said, the scan could show nothing . . . or it could be everywhere. I hate cancer.

I know today is Monday and that's Tricia's day. ;-) But please join me in praying for these others as well. Pray for complete healing and miracles for these sweet families!

My mom is at West Clinic now, getting her maintenance treatment for breast cancer (herceptin). As you know, prayer is our chemo for her pancreatic cancer. Let the treatment begin!