snorkeling {a family update}

How are we doing? We're snorkeling, but not the fun kind. I'll explain later. Here's an update on the family . . .

Tekia is in 8th grade and doing well in school. She decided to take a year off from cheerleading and is just doing tumbling classes right now. Jamal's school situation has been more complicated. He was homeschooled last year and the plan all along was for him to return to regular high school for his senior year. His school knew this and agreed it was a good plan. However, no one ever told us that once a child turns 18, our school system will not admit them. Jamal turned 18 in June, so when my dad went to register him for school, the school said no. After two months of fighting this and talking to administrators and trying to find a school that would admit him, we finally came to the hard realization that it would be best at this point for Jamal to begin working on getting his GED. So that's what he's doing now. He began GED prep classes two weeks ago.

Both kids are struggling in other ways. Out of respect for their privacy, I won't go into details. But please, please keep them in your prayers. How are their teenage hearts supposed to handle losing two moms during their childhood? How can they trust a God who would let that happen?

Dad and I are both working full-time. And both feeling like we need to be at home all the time. We're currently participating in a wonderful class called Empowered to Connect. I can't recommend it enough to other adoptive and foster families! Visit the website and check out the ETC initiative. Mom and I have been to three ETC conferences in the last two years, and she and Dad had been planning on attending this class for months. I'm happy to fill in for her. We covet your prayers as we continue the crazy journey that is being part of our family.

In the days right after Mom died, I remember my older brother Jared saying, "I wish we could just fast forward a few months . . . like to September." I agreed. As if things were going to be less hard in a few months.

Wrong.

Here it is October, and many days I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. There are moments that are good - even great. I have days where I find myself driving down the road with my hands lifted in praise (okay, just one hand . . . I am driving, after all) as I sing my heart out to the One who is somehow able to fill my heart with joy during times like this. And then there are days when I have to pull over in a parking lot because the grief becomes so intense that I can't even catch my breath. And sometimes those are the same day.

But God is faithful, and as I struggle to keep my head above the water . . . to keep breathing . . . He hands me a snorkel. I get a text from a friend telling me they're praying for me . . .  or I get a facebook message about how Mom touched someone's life . . . or Tekia says something that makes me laugh my head off . . . or someone randomly invites us over for dinner . . . or my daily devotional says exactly what I need to hear. I'm still swimming in the deep, but I can take a breath. Relax a little. For a few minutes or hours or days, I can breathe easy. The hurt is still there, but the hope is revived.

And even though snorkeling is more fun in the Bahamas, these days I'll take what I can get.

the blogger lives

When my 3-year-old friend Brody (yep, thing 2) first learned that Mom had gone to Heaven, he had a hard time understanding that I was still here on earth. After all, he knew that Tricia and Callie went everywhere together. We'd just spent almost a month in Louisville together and he hadn't seen either of us since we'd been home. So it made sense to him that I would be with Trish.

You guys might've been thinking that, too . . . since I haven't blogged one word in over a month and all. But I'm alive. Just too busy to blog on most days. Too tired to blog on some. Too sad to blog on a few. But mostly just too busy.

In the midst of trying to figure out how to exist without my mom/best friend/roommate, I'm also trying to figure out how to do things like take care of teenagers, keep our garden alive, repair broken appliances (yes, that was her job), cook, etc, all while doing my normal things like working full-time and leading an orphan ministry.

So I'm busy . . . currently busy trying to get this family ready for the beach. :)

Most days we have no idea what we're doing or why we're doing it, but we're trying to do it with love. Keep praying for us.


p.s. I tweet/facebook/instagram a lot because it's fast and easy . . . feel free to keep up with all of our shenanigans on one of those sites!

the next step

The next step (I guess . . . what do I know about this?) is celebrating what a crazy awesome life my mom lived . . . how she lived for Jesus and showed others his love daily. We'll be gathering to remember and celebrate her life on earth next Tuesday, May 28, at Sycamore View church of Christ. Visitation will be at 4pm and the service will be at 6:30, followed by a reception.

Those who are unable to attend will be able to watch the service online. It will be streamed live (likely beginning with the visitation) on our church's web site. Just go to this link and then click on "live streaming." Also, it will be available for viewing afterward at vimeo.com/sycamoreview.

To our extended family . . . the ones whose sweet babies my mom has rocked and bathed and fed and loved . . . you are our family, and there will be reserved seating for you directly behind us.

For those who may be bringing small children, Mom would love nothing more than for the room to be full of their noise. :) However, if you think they're getting too rowdy, you can take them out to one of the foyers or to the nursing room to play, and you can continue watching the service on TV.

Though her death at this time was very unexpected, Mom had been given terminal diagnoses (yes, plural) before, so she had given us a few instructions about the kind of celebration service she wanted. You can expect it to be inspiring, encouraging, and challenging. We hope and pray you will find that it's full of Jesus, the one who made a life like my mom's possible and the one who gives us hope in our darkest hours. Please continue to pray for us. We still believe His promises are true.

Jesus wins.

The Gentle Healer came into our town today, and He took home with Him one of his favorites, healed and whole. Mom's amazing journey on this earth is over, and a most amazing one has begun.

We are still trying to process all that has happened in the past 36 hours. Mom had a great few days since returning from Louisville . . . spending time with friends, buying new plants for our garden, planning parties for foster children, etc. She noticed some GI bleeding late Thursday night and began running fever yesterday morning. After a trip to West Clinic, it was decided she would be admitted to the hospital just to be safe. She was admitted around 4pm, feeling pretty well. She was eating dinner with her friend Cindi a little after 7pm when she began to feel nauseous. What happened next is a whirlwind; she began vomiting blood and was rushed to the ICU, where they were never able to completely stabilize her. Something was causing massive arterial bleeding in her stomach. She left this earth around 3:30 this morning. She was surrounded by her friends and family and was not in any pain. We sang her out with two of her favorite songs, When We All Get to Heaven and There's a Stirring. It was holy ground.

We are heartbroken and not sure of much right now, but we hold tight to what we know is true: Jesus lives. He lives and He wins! His precious daughter Tricia is safe in His arms tonight, singing, laughing, and worshiping with her sweet daddy and other friends she hasn't seen in years. We will see her again.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard,

and no mind has imagined

what God has prepared

for those love him."

1 Corinthians 2:9

three weeks later . . . HOME. (5/14 update)

Sorry, guys, I haven't been on the computer much the last couple of days because we've been busy getting ready to go HOME!!! Mom saw Dr. Martin yesterday morning, and he cleared her to go back to Memphis!

Her swelling issues are still there. At times her feet/legs have been swollen all the way to her waist, causing her to gain 5 pounds in one day over the weekend. Dr. Martin says some fluid retention is normal after surgery and he feels like it can be managed from Memphis (if it ends up needing to be "managed" at all). He thinks it will work itself out within a week.

Mom will probably see Dr. Tauer (oh, how we've missed him!) in the next week or so. Be praying about this appointment because I have a feeling some treatment changes may be in Mom's future. Dr. Martin has some different recommendations than what Dr. Tauer has already been doing. Pray that God will lead them and us to the right treatment plan and that He will use it to bring healing.

So we are headed home this afternoon! We would've left yesterday, but we didn't want Mom to overdo it by trying to cram too much into one day, plus we needed to clean the carriage house and pack. Please pray for safe travels for us, and pray that Mom will be able to make the 6+ hour trip without much discomfort.

We are so thankful for all that God has done for us here in Louisville, but we are more than ready to be back in the bluff city! We look forward to the ways He will continue to reveal His glory there. :-)

the best day (5/11 update)

So today was pretty much the best day. Mom and I spent the majority of our afternoon exploring Middletown, a small town near where we're staying. We ate girly food and went to girly places. Two of the shops we went to have the word "chick" in their names, if that tells you anything. And we went to Walmart, because, why not? Mom did great today. We were out for almost 6 hours! Then we came back to the carriage house, cheered the Grizzlies on to victory, and then went out again for dinner. As long as no one reports us for shooting up in the Walgreens parking lot, I'd call this day a success (I had to give Mom pain meds through her J-tube . . . after filling some syringes with water in the bathroom).

Here are a few thousand words to prove it . . .

Headed out for a Mother's Day lunch! Note Mom's new friend Joey (her feeding pump in the black backpack).

Trying on some Derby hats!

Trish got a special Mother's Day delivery from Jared, Shelby, & kids. :)

And we both got a special playoffs day delivery from our friend Candice!

Can you believe that woman couldn't get out of bed last weekend? Wouldn't eat or drink? Wouldn't talk? What a difference a week makes! I mean, seriously, it's kind of amazing.

Thanks to those of you who prayed for rest. Mom said last night was the first night she's really, really slept well since surgery. I hope this is a new normal!

Keep praying for her sodium issues. Tonight her feet and legs are really swollen, which is probably a combination of the sodium pills she's taking and being up on her feet a lot today. If the swelling doesn't go down by morning, we'll probably call the doctor.

Continue also to pray for pain relief. Her pain's not any worse, but she's still requiring pretty high doses of pain meds, and we know Dr. M wants her off these (or at least on lower doses) ASAP. Pray for her to continue to recover well and for those cancer cells to die. The faster the tumor dies, the faster Mom's pain will go away.

We are so thankful for days like today. It probably doesn't seem that spectacular to most people, but every moment of "normalcy" is huge to us. Praying for many more! :)

2nd time's a charm? (5/9 update)

We're home! Home at the carriage house, that is. Mom was discharged again today - a week after her first discharge from the hospital. Let's hope the 2nd time's a charm. :)

So far this discharge has gone much better than the first. Mom's been eating pretty well (in addition to her continuous tube feedings . . . maybe we can get some meat on her bones!). In fact, the first thing she did when we got to the carriage house was go to the kitchen and start looking for a snack. She was so sick last weekend she never even went in the kitchen, and she certainly never attempted to eat any food. After her snack, she took a shower and then sat on the couch and watched TV for a while. This is completely different woman than the one Patty and I brought home last Thursday. This woman is Tricia! We've missed her!

Keep praying about Mom's sodium and other electrolyte levels/her overall nutrition status. She's getting her tube feeds continously, plus eating/drinking more normally, plus taking salt pills. Pray that her body will tolerate all of this well and she will be able to gain some weight!

Pray for Mom to have less pain and get some rest. She has a pain patch now, which hasn't worked any miracles but has definitely helped. She's still taking her regular pain med when she needs it (pretty much every four hours). She has not been sleeping very well, even when she's not hurting, so pray that she'll be able to get the rest that she needs as her body recovers from this surgery. Dr. Martin told us today that it can take up to 6 - 8 weeks for those now-electrocuted cancer cells to completely die, so Mom may continue to have back pain for a while.   

Pray that Mom's doctor's appointment on Monday would go well, that her labs would be normal, and that we'll be able to come home on Monday or Tuesday. Pray that God would continue to heal Mom from this surgery and from breast and pancreatic cancer. Pray that He would be glorified through that healing and through every part of this journey. It's really all about Him.

two weeks later (5/8 update)

Two weeks ago today, I walked into this hospital with a mom who was full of hope and energy. On Monday night I came back with a mom who was too weak to walk and in so much pain she could hardly talk.

Today that mom who was full of hope and energy seems to be resurfacing a bit. Mom was on a clear liquid diet for her entire first hospital stay and was put back on that same diet when she was re-admitted on Monday. During her four days at "home", she was allowed to eat, but she felt so bad that she never tried. This morning she woke up asking for food, and then ate her first meal in over two weeks!

In addition to rocking her new "soft bland" diet, Mom has also been out of bed a lot today . . . walking in the halls, sitting in her chair, and watching for helicopters at the end of our hall. This is a huge change from how she was over the weekend, when Patty and I felt like we'd won a gold medal each time we managed to get Mom to stay out of bed for more than 10 minutes.

As far as numbers go, Mom's white count is still slightly elevated, but is coming down. If it keeps going like it has been, it'll be normal tomorrow. Her sodium level has come up a tiny bit, but it's not near where they want it. It was at 121 yesterday and came up to 124 today; it should be at least 136. Dr. M has tried to get her sodium level up by taking away her "free water" that's normally given through her feeding tube and instead using her port to give her IV fluids with sodium, as well as allowing her to eat/drink things that contain sodium (pretty much anything but water). However, her IV fluids were discontinued tonight, so pray her sodium level will still continue to rise without them.

If Mom's numbers continue to head in the right direction and if she continues to feel better, Dr. M may discharge her tomorrow. He won't let us go back to Memphis, yet, though. :( He wants Mom to stay in Louisville through the weekend and follow-up with him at his office next week. Mom was disappointed to find out she wouldn't be home for Mother's Day, but we understand why she needs to be here. We definitely don't want to to end up at home or in the middle of a six-hour drive with Mom feeling like she did last weekend.

Thank you all for your prayers and love. Keep praying for Mom's body to heal, her sodium to come up, her pain to lessen, and her cancer cells to die!  

back to our old stomping grounds (5/6 update)

Well, I'm writing this post from our old stomping grounds . . . a hospital room at University Hospital. Four rooms down from the one we left last Thursday.

Needless to say, Mom's doctor's appointment didn't go as we'd hoped. Her white blood cell count was elevated, which is indicative of infection. And you've already heard about everything else going on. Basically, she's in worse shape than she was when she left the hospital four days ago. Dr. Martin is concerned that Mom might have an infection of her surgical site or sepsis (infection in her blood). Because of this, Mom is back in the hospital for 23 hours of fluids, more labs, and a CT scan. At least we hope it's just 23 hours. Mom's got fluids going now and is actually going to be taken down for her CT scan soon (yes, in the middle of the night).

We're bummed that we won't be heading back to Memphis tomorrow as we'd planned. We're in desperate need of the awesome support system that awaits us at home. However, I think we're both a little relieved to be right where we are tonight. The staff on this unit has become the closest thing to family that we've got here in Louisville, and it just so happened that room on "our" unit opened up right when we needed it to. Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name. :) We returned to lots of familiar faces and our favorite night nurse. Trish even had a piece of mail waiting on her. 

Please be praying that Dr. M and his team will be able to quickly get to the bottom of what's making Mom so sick. Pray that God will show them how to fix it. Pray for healing from infection, cancer, and all things evil that are attacking my mom's body and spirit. Pray for God to steal the show here at U of L.

Mom's appointment was at 1:45 this afternoon and it was around 8pm before she got in a hospital room. It was around 11pm before I got back to the hospital with our stuff, and I'm now blogging at 3:08am. It's been a long day. And I'm tired.

Goodnight. 

Sunday at the carriage house (5/5 update)

Today . . . Mom is doing about the same . . . maybe even a bit better in some ways. The morning started off with a call to the on call doctor because last night was not a good one. Mom's pain medicine is supposed to last four hours and was only lasting about two. Neither of us got much sleep. The doctor I spoke to told me I could make some adjustments to the dose and frequency of Mom's pain medicine if I needed to. She said to bring Mom to the ER if things got worse. Thankfully they didn't. Mom's pain isn't gone, but it's been better than it was last night. She had some nausea this afternoon, so we stopped her feeds for a while and busted out her nausea meds and acupressure wristbands. That resolved after an hour or so and hasn't been a problem since.

She's still very weak and has trouble getting comfortable anywhere other than the bed. Even the Grizzlies couldn't get her out of bed today. She did listen to the game from her room, though . . . unfortunately the ending didn't do much in the way of lifting her spirits. I think she actually stayed awake most of the day, so maybe she'll sleep better tonight. One can hope.

Patty and I are doing okay . . . being super lazy, lounging around our little apartment, eating and watching TV. And also watching Mom's every move and constantly trying to talk her into getting out of bed. :)

Mom has an appointment with Dr. Martin at 1:45 tomorrow afternoon. I think he'll do lab work and possibly a scan to check for any post-op complications. We were expecting him to give us permission to leave Louisville, but with the way things are going, I'm not so sure. I'm so ready to be home, but I also want Mom feeling better ASAP! And if there's a problem that needs to be fixed here, we'll stay here as long as we need to. If Mom does get cleared to go home, we'll probably come home on Tuesday.

Be praying for less pain and more rest for Mom tonight. Pray for an extra boost of energy for her tomorrow as we make the trip to and from the doctor's office. And pray for a good visit with Dr. Martin . . . one that brings answers and hope!

Derby day (5/4 update)

Happy Derby Day! Louisville has been going crazy with Kentucky Derby madness since we got here almost two weeks ago. A fireworks show, a boat race, hot air balloon flights, a parade, and a festival are just some of the things we've heard about. And of course the last two days have been filled with horse races. (Did you know there are multiple races? You do now.)

We watched the Derby from our appropriately named "carriage house." Mom is still not feeling well at all, but she voluntarily got out of bed to watch the Derby this afternoon. She also got out of bed to watch the end of the Grizzlies game last night. We may need major sporting events on a daily basis to speed up Mom's recovery.

Since Wednesday, Mom has been pretty out of it. She's very tired and weak. She hasn't been talking much at all and certainly hasn't been eating or drinking. I was worried enough yesterday to call Dr. Martn's office. Dr. M's physician's assistant reviewed all of Mom's labs and other tests (she had a chest xray and a CT scan on Thursday) and also had home health come out last night and get more blood work. The PA said everything done in the hospital was normal, and, since we haven't heard anything about last night's labs, I'm assuming they were normal, too. Her vital signs have all been good as well. On paper, Mom appears to be recovering pretty well. In person, it seems like something's wrong. I'm hoping we can pinpoint what that something is at Mom's follow-up appointment with Dr. M on Monday. And I'm hoping she'll turn a corner in the meantime.

We've been managing her pain pretty well until today. I'm not sure if her pain's actually getting worse or we just let it get ahead of us. If we don't see some improvement tonight, I'll be calling Dr. M's office again tomorrow.

Please pray for Mom to turn a corner soon and start gaining her strength and her spunk back. It's hard to see her like this and not be able to help her. Also pray for Patty (Mom's best friend who's been here with us since Thursday) and I as we care for her. This weekend has been rough, but I know God can and will use this time for his glory. Holding tight to His promises.

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." -Isaiah 40:31

threshold crossed (4/25 udpate)

Wow. Even after all the times that God has been faithful to restore my mom's health, I still can't believe yesterday happened. We've felt like doors have been slammed in our faces over and over again for almost four months. We could see this one, strange door way off in the distance. And though we wanted so badly to get to it, we didn't know if we ever would. It was more of a swinging door - open . . . closed . . . open . . . closed. Light . . . dark . . . light . . . dark. Then came Monday. Open?? Light?? And yesterday we crossed the threshold. Open. Light.

It still feels surreal, but Mom has the incision on her belly to prove it. The nanoknife surgery that we have waited for and hoped for and prayed for actually happened yesterday. Once again I find myself overwhelmed by God's faithfulness and so, so thankful.

Last night after surgery, Mom did awesome. Like, crazy awesome. She was texting and calling friends and family. Talking our ears off . . . . especially about how much she loved her epidural. ;) She didn't sleep at all last night but it didn't seem to bother her. As soon as I woke up around 5:30 this morning, she started chattering away again.

That changed as the day went on, though. Mom's pain level got really high this morning, then got better this afternoon after a couple of visits from the pain specialist and adjustments of her epidural rate. She's hurting some now but is doing much better than this morning. Another issue has been her blood pressure. It got very low several times last night and once this afternoon. Extra IV fluids have helped, but they don't want to give her too much fluid. If Mom continues to have blood pressure problems, they may have to decrease her pain med again, as the epidural can cause low blood pressure. She still has an NG tube in her nose (to suction fluid off her stomach), and she hates that. Her GI system still seems to be "sleepy" from surgery, and, until that changes, she can't have anything to eat or drink. She's so thirsty! She's also running a low grade fever tonight. And she's tired (you know, because she hasn't slept since surgery).

So tonight we need to pray for good pain control, stable blood pressure, no fever, GI system "awakening", and sleep!

Surgery has started!

Surgery actually got started about an hour and a half ahead of schedule! I know . . . what kind of hospital is this?? Mom has been back there about 20 minutes.

I'll try to post udpates as I get them. You can also check my twitter updates by clicking the link on the left side of the screen (you don't need a twitter account to read them). And of course facebookers can check for updates there. I'm feeling extra social today. ;)

"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today . . . The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." -Exodus 14:13-14

possibility city

Oh friends, what a long, blessed, crazy, stressful couple of days we have had. We've been in Louisville since late Sunday night, and I'm just now getting a chance to type out an update.

First things first (for the non-facebookers) - MOM'S HAVING SURGERY AT NOON TOMORROW! Praise God that her CT scan showed no significant changes!

Yesterday Mom had about a week's worth of appointments and tests in seven hours. She had a CT scan, a consult with Dr. Martin, pre-op registration, blood work, a chest x-ray, and a consult with anesthesia. it was a whirlwind, but an efficient whirlwind. We can't say enough good things about the care Mom's received here so far. We had a great meeting with Dr. Martin. Mom loved him. He obviously knows a lot about pancreatic cancer; he does these surgeries 2-3 times a week. He said that Mom has a retroperitoneal recurrence (in same area where the cancer originally started), which is common. What is very uncommon is that that is the only place the cancer appears to be. Usually pancreatic cancer metastasizes to other places when it recurs. The fact that Mom has no metastasis is what gives us a(nother) chance to get rid of it. If, after opening Mom up tomorrow, Dr. Martin sees cancer anywhere else, he will not be able to complete the surgery. He said there's about a 10% chance of that happening. Obviously this would be devastating, so we want to pray that the CT scan is accurate. Scar tissue from Mom's Whipple surgery could also present a problem, so we want to pray that Dr. M will be able to reach the tumor easily. Once he reaches the tumor, he will not remove it. He will place the nanoknife probes around it and "zap" it, hopefully killing every cancer cell inside. if the nanoknife works, the tumor will die and turn into scar tissue. However, we probably won't know for a while whether the nanoknife was successful or not. Lots of lessons in trusting God here. :)

The surgery is scheduled to begin at 11am central time, but one of the nurses yesterday told us they may be able to get started a little early. It should last 2 - 3 hours. We've got people covering Mom in prayer from 10am to 2pm. Feel free to join them and feel free to pray after that time, just in case surgery goes long. Mom will probably come out of surgery and go home with a feeding tube called a J-tube in her stomach. Dr. M does this for all of his patients to make sure they don't lose too much weight. This will be temporary and will be removed when Mom's doctors (probably her Memphis doctors) feel that she can maintain her weight without it. Mom will likely spend tomorrow night in ICU and hopefully move on to a regular room on Thursday. Dr. M expects her to be in the hospital 4 - 5 days, provided there are no complications.        

The non-medical portion of our stay in Louisville so far has been the most stressful part. I'm too tired to tell that whole story right now, but I do want to say thank you to everyone who's offered to help us find/pay for a new place to stay. The hospital hospitality house was not at all what we expected or what Mom needed, and we've been overwhelmed by all the offers of help and housing we've received - some from complete strangers. We are currently in a new, clean hotel room. We probably won't stay here the whole time, but it's working for now.

Here are the prayer requests for tomorrow . . .

• Pray for Dr. Martin, the anesthesiologist, and the rest of Mom's health care team as they try to provide her with the best and safest care possible. 
• Pray that Dr. Martin will see no metastasis when he opens Mom up tomorrow and that he will be able to proceed with surgery as planned. Pray that he will able to effectively destroy every part of this tumor and that this surgery will be completely successful in making Mom cancer-free! 
• Pray that Mom will have a smooth recovery with no complications.
• Pray for Jamal and Tekia as they go about their days in Memphis tomorrow. Tekia will be taking achievement tests at school, and Jamal will likely be hanging out at home (he's homeschooled). Jamal especially seems very worried and he will probably have the hardest time waiting for new about Mom.
• Pray for Jared and Shelby and their kids as they wait for news in Little Rock.
• And pray for Dad and me as we wait in the waiting room. Pray that God will give everyone in our family his perfect peace and that we will trust him completely throughout this journey. 
• Also, pray for our friend Kate. Kate is the 29-year-old daughter of some of Mom and Dad's friends, and tomorrow is a big day for them as well. Kate was recently diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer and has her initial consult at MD Anderson tomorrow. Pray both of our families will end tomorrow with so much HOPE!
• Most importantly, pray that God will use every part of this journey for HIS glory! Pray that He will be glorified by what happens in Mom's operating room tomorrow and that each of us and those surrounding us will get to see Him in action. 

I read somewhere that Louisville is called "possibility city." I think I see their point.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine . . ." Ephesians 3:20

Good Thursday

Mom and I had a very long day today and are both completely exhausted, so this will be brief . . .

Mom's scan today was unchanged! There was no shrinkage of the tumor, but there was also no growth and no metastasis! Dr. Tauer was very pleased and feels like the chemo is working. He's going to try to get in touch with Dr. Martin in Louisville tomorrow to talk about the possibility of surgery. We hope Dr. Martin is still on board and that we can schedule nanoknife surgery soon! Since tomorrow's Friday, I doubt we'll know anything about surgery until next week. Pray for Dr. Tauer and Dr. Martin to connect soon and for us to get (another) "yes" about surgery!

Mom's body is still trying to bounce back from these first two chemo treatments. Her red count has been getting lower and lower, so today she got a shot to help build it back up. Her potassium is also extremely low and, as usual, she's a little dehydrated; so she also got a bag of IV fluids with potassium. She'll get fluids at home the next two days to get her juiced up for our busy weekend ahead.

Despite her not-so-great lab work, she's feeling really well! Most of the time her appetite is pretty good - she's actually gained a pound since her last visit to West Clinic! Her stomach still doesn't tolerate food all the time, though (thus the dehydration and low potassium). She's experimenting with cutting out dairy, taking more digestive enzymes, etc. Her energy level is not completely back to normal yet but is much better than it was. We were at the clinic from 10:30am to 4:30pm and then ran some errands and didn't get home til almost 9pm! She did great - probably better than I did. I'm beginning to think I need a bag of fluids every time we go to the clinic. ;)

This weekend my brother Jared and his family are coming into town for the first time since Mom started chemo. Mom is so excited about spending the weekend with her grandkids and actually feeling well enough to have fun with them! On Saturday, we're helping with an Easter egg hunt for foster children and their families (pray for no rain!). And on Sunday, we'll go to church and then to some friends' house for lunch. Pray Mom will continue to feel well and have enough to energy to enjoy all the activities she has planned.

Okay, so that wasn't that brief after all. We are tired and weary but feeling so, so grateful to have received good news today. Please join us in praising God for all He has done and all He's going to do! He never ceases to amaze me.

29

 

It's my birthday. And the best present I got was a day spent with a mom who actually feels good. The above picture was taken this afternoon. Doesn't Trish look great?

This last several days have been almost normal around here! Mom's never been one to have life and not live it, so now that she's feeling a little better, it's been hard to make her sit still! She was more active this last weekend than she's been in all of the last six weeks combined. She went to Kia's cheer banquet, went shopping, went to church, went out to eat for my birthday, etc. She was pretty tired when we got home last night, but overall she's doing great. For the most part, her side effects are being controlled by meds. She's even been able to cut back a little on her nausea meds. Her appetite is much better. Her blood pressure is close to the normal range. And she's even gained a few pounds! Her biggest problem right now is swollen feet, which started last night after three days of nonstop moving. She's supposed to be keeping her feet up (per Dr. T's nurse's instructions), and it's killing her to have to get back in her recliner now that she actually feels like being out of it!

Mom's first scan since starting chemo is the THIS Thursday! This is big because it will probably determine whether or not she's still a candidate for nanoknife surgery in Louisville. If there's no metastasis (i.e. cancer in other places besides the pancreas), we hope to start making plans for surgery. So pray, pray, pray with us for good results! Pray that this scan is either better or unchanged.

Thank you so much to everyone who's prayed Mom to this point. We are so grateful!

the Saturday evening post

Aka your weekly Trish report. ;)

For those of you who haven't read it on facebook or twitter, Mom's blood work all looked great yesterday, so she was able (or maybe forced) to get her second round of chemo. Actually, she's still getting it, as one of the drugs infuses over 46 hours. They decreased the dosages of two of her chemo meds and added two new anti-nausea meds, all in an effort to manage this chemo's horrible side effects. She's wearing an anti-nausea patch (Sancuso patch) that administers medication continuously for 7 days. And she's taking phenergan and zofran around the clock, even setting her alarm to wake up and take meds every 3 hours at night. Hopefully these changes will make a difference!

We had a little bit of a scare during Mom's infusion yesterday when she started to have slurred speech and muscle twitching. Her nurse had never seen it before and called the nurse practitioner, who checked Mom out and made sure she wasn't having a stroke. She wasn't. It's just a rare reaction from one of the medicines (irinotecan-induced dysarthria) and it goes away a few hours after the infusion's finished. It actually happened last time, too, but it was right after she'd had a drink of iced tea. We attributed it to her extreme sensitivity to cold things (also a side effect of chemo). I googled it anyway, though, and had seen that irinotecan can cause slurred speech . . . which is the only reason I didn't freak out when it happened yesterday. It resolved after a few hours.

How's she doing tonight? Well, she feels kind of "chemo-ish" . . . just kind of feeling bad in general. Very fatigued, not hungry, not thirsty. She had one short episode of nausea this afternoon, but none before or since and she has not thrown up! Things started to get bad on day 3 after chemo last time, so tomorrow will be the real test - pray for a good day! Regardless of how tomorrow goes, we've got home health coming with IV fluids for at least a couple days. Even if she doesn't throw up at all this round, she could still use the extra fluids since she's not drinking much. 

On Monday, Mom will get a shot to boost her white blood cell production to help prevent the dramatic drop that occurred after round 1. Because this sends the bone marrow into overdrive, it can cause bad bone pain. Pray Trish will be spared of that.

In other news, Tekia is in Orlando with her cheerleading squad and was shocked tonight when her dad showed up for their parent meeting! After her trip got off to a rough start, Dad looked into flying down there for the weekend and realized he and Mom together had enough frequent flyer miles to get a round-trip ticket. Actually accessing those miles was a major ordeal, but we finally got it worked out and Dad was able to surprise Tekia tonight. :) God provided everything from plane tickets to a place to stay. Dad will be there to see her compete tomorrow and will stay to fly back with her on Tuesday. Tekia's team competed once this afternoon and Mom and I were able to watch it live online. They did great and are currently in 1st place for their division!

Tonight's prayer requests . . .

• Send up some prayers of thanksgiving for answered prayers from last week! Dr. Tauer is doing well after surgery . . . Kia's Orlando trip has taken a turn for the better and we all feel better now that her dad is there . . . Mom was able to have chemo yesterday. :)
• Pray for safety for Tekia and her teammates as they compete and safe travels for them and all their parents as they head home on Tuesday.
• Pray for round 2 of chemo to be hard on cancer cells and much easier on the rest of Mom's body! Pray Mom will have less stomach trouble and more strength and energy.
• Mom will have another scan on the 28th. Pray for no growth and no metastasis (i.e., spreading to other organs) of her cancer! If this goes well, we can schedule surgery in Louisville!

We've definitely had our moments of discouragement this week, but God has been just as faithful as ever, and we are so grateful. Thanks for covering us in prayer and love. 

the Saturday evening post

Okay, first of all, I'd like to note that the previous two posts were written very late at night, by a very exhausted, worried, sleep-deprived, non-proof-reading version of myself. Please disregard the typos or anything else that might not have made sense. :)

Now for the real reason you came here . . . the Trish update! Trish is doing much better. She has actually eaten three meals a day for the last three days, which is a major improvement over the last couple of weeks. She's still pretty weak, but doing better than she was a couple days ago. Tonight she made her first non-doctors-office outing in over 2 weeks! Tekia's show night for cheerleading was tonight, and since Mom won't be able to go to their competition in Orlando next week, she was determined to watch them cheer tonight. She went, did great (both Tekia and Mom), and is now back in her chair and exhausted. She's got a big day planned for tomorrow, too . . . church and a mother-daughter "pinterest party" with Tekia.

Kia (mid-handstand) & Mom at Kia's show night tonight

Mom's done with IV fluids for now, so it's up to her to stay hydrated. The plan is to spend most of next week getting stronger and then have chemo on Friday (provided her blood counts are good). Hopefully she'll get some iron that day, too. Her iron's been low for a few weeks, and I'm sure that's not helping anything else going on. Her chemo dose will be reduced this time, and she'll also get a couple of new anti-nausea meds with it/following it. The day after chemo, she'll get a shot to help prevent her white blood count from dropping too low. And of course she'll get fluids as needed. Hopefully, all these changes will make this round of chemo much more tolerable than the first one.

Mom will have another CT scan about 2 weeks after this next round of chemo. If it's good (meaning the cancer is smaller/unchanged and in no other organs) and if she's strong enough, we'll be ready to schedule surgery in Louisville. We could be looking at surgery in 4-6 weeks if everything goes perfectly . . . and that "perfectly" thing hasn't been working out for us so far. 

Here are our prayer needs for the week . . .

• Our favorite oncologist, Dr. Tauer, is having surgery on Tuesday and will be out of commission for a few weeks. Pray everything goes well for him! As far as Trish and his other patients go, his nurse practitioner Marcus is in charge and has several other doctors there to back him up if he needs it. 
• Tekia is leaving on Wednesday for a national cheerleading competition in Orlando, FL. Mom would normally go with her, and it's killing both of them that she's unable to. Pray for safe travels/cheerleading for Tekia, for her to have a great time with her friends, and for her not to miss her mama too much. 
• Pray for more strength and stamina for Trish! And of course for no stomach trouble or pain. Pray that she will be able to stay hydrated without IV fluids and that she'll be able to eat enough to gain some weight.
• Pray that Mom will be able to get chemo next Friday, that she will tolerate it much better than the first round, and that God will use it to kill cancer cells! Pray also that her tumor will not grow or spread to any other parts of her body. 
• Pray for God to continue to reveal His glory every step of the way.

    

no chemo today

We met with Dr. Tauer this morning before what was supposed to be Mom's second round of chemo. Turns out her white blood count is really low - a side effect from the first treatment. This is probably why she's felt so bad lately. Dr. T could tell from her lab work that her white count is already starting to recover and said Mom should start to feel better in a couple days. Pray that he's right!

Because of the low white count, Mom's at a high risk for infection, so she's started a round of antibiotics today, just to be on the safe side. She'll continue getting fluids at hone for as long as she feels like she needs them.

We'll try again next week for chemo. For now we're going to try to keep Trish away from germs and feed her! Her appetite seems to have come back a little tonight. :)

a Trish update - 2/25

Sorry I haven't posted an update in a few days. Mom's in much better shape than she was this time last week, though she's still struggling. Praise God she has not thrown up since last Wednesday! She began eating again over the weekend . . . very small meals, of course. She was doing pretty well until this afternoon. Unfortunately, Trish learned the hard way today that she's not ready to come off her anti-nausea meds just yet. She spent most of the day feeling nauseated and has eaten very little. Pray for this to be better tomorrow!

Though she's hydrated again (thanks to 7 days of daily fluids), Mom is still very weak and has very little stamina. This, combined with the constant battle with nausea, is very discouraging for her. Pray God will strengthen her both physically and spiritually.

Trish isn't the only one feeling sick around here. Both Jamal and Tekia have been complaining of various cold/flu-like symptoms this week. Dad spent this morning at the doctor's office with Tekia; they left with antibiotics for a sinus infection. Jamal has yet to require a doctor's visit, but that may be coming soon. Of course getting sick (in the cold/flu sense) is the last thing Trish needs right now, so pray that God will protect her from all the germs floating around. And pray that the rest of us will remain healthy!

As far as we know, the plan is still to begin Mom's second round of chemo on Wednesday. At this point, I don't see how that will be possible. We'll meet with Dr. Tauer on Wednesday morning, so please be in prayer about that appointment. I'm confident God will lead Dr. T to the right decisions for Mom.

I'm off to bed for a few short hours before I have to go to work. Thanks for praying with us and for us. We appreciate it more than words can say!