IRL

People have read this blog and told me many nice things about how I am reacting to this news. All I can say is a) Jesus gives me hope, b) any faith I have is a reflection of the faith I've seen (and am seeing!) my parents display in times like this, c) I've taken "no-cry pills" on more than one occasion over the last week (ha!), and d) it's easy to be brave on the internet. And maybe if I keep telling myself (and anyone else who chooses to read this blog) what I know God wants me to hear, eventually the internet me will start to rub off on the IRL (in-real-life) me. But, for the moment, the IRL me has taken over, and these are the things I wish.   

I wish someone had hacked into my blog and that everything you've read here over the last week was all false. 

I wish my mom and I were spending the day getting ready to go pick up some lucky family's bundle of joy from the hospital, instead of her hurting and trying to sleep and me trying to be quiet and not wake her.

I wish we were spending the day doing just about anything at all other than what we're doing right now. 

I wish Mom had IV access and I had some morphine!

I wish we would all wake up from this nightmare.

I wish all my family and friends lived in one place (not necessarily one house, but, you know what I mean). 

I wish I understood this better at 26 than I did at 17 and 20.

I wish there were no such thing as cancer.

I wish we would hear the trumpets TODAY! 

And, finally, I wish I had taken a Xanax about 2 hours before I started this post. Oh well. Live and learn, right?